SUPERFAM
by seouls
Summary: "We matatas and that means we ride or die mawfuckers." a series of stories involving the ultimates as they navigate teenage life and superheroing. all while growing closer as a family.


**summary** : the heroes-mainly the boys-had a room switch to get to know each other better. vulture ends up rooming with danny and he's not happy about it until he is. sam and cho have more in common than they thought

**note** : if anyone remembers i had a chatfic on here called superfam™ i had to take down ._. so im bringing it back but chaptered style ! it'll feature thirsting after danny, teenage shenanigans, family bonding, anD lots of ships that aren't official. everyone is getting shipped with everyone ? alsO sorry for slight ooc characters i wanted to portray the gang like gen z kids while still keeping their original personalities. hopefully that doesn't flop. rated T for lots of swearing and sexual innuendos

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CHAPTER ONE : THE ROOM-A-ROO SWITCHEROO

alt: "let's switch roommates, they said. what's the worst that could happen, they said."

The Room-a-roo Switcheroo had been a good idea when it was first pitched by Cho. It was a great way for the new batch of Ultimates to get to know Peter's teammates. It could also help promote teamwork outside a work setting. Those were Cho's words and it had swayed the others to give it a try. In theory, it was a good idea. In reality, not to much. Cho only pitched the idea because he was getting fed up with Flash always touching his things in their joint room. His computer was "not meant to stream sappy korean dramas" and "no, Luke you can't come in and watch."

The Room-a-roo Switcheroo really needed a new name and also occurred once a month. A month was more than enough time to get to know someone, especially considering they saw each other for the majority of their days. It would also be good to mention the room switching didn't happen for everyone.

The team had three girls-four counting MJ, but she only came to SHIELD for classes and training-Ava, Dagger, and Squirrel Girl. Cloak and Dagger were joined at the hip so they decided to be permanent roommates. ("Bet they fucking." "Flash, shut up.") Ava had no quarrels sharing with Squirrel Girl as long as her squirrels stayed away from her things. There was a threat involving eating said squirrels if they did come near Ava, but Squirrel Girl was too ecstatic to hear it. The squirrels heard it and, as one would guess, they were far from pleased by it. Miles, Peter, and Harry had homes to sleep in and Rhino was too big to room with anyone else. Zabu had his own space in the helicarrier. Literally, an entire section of the helicarrier was dedicated to the sabertooth cat to prevent him from taking a bite of other agents. Ka-zar claimed Zabu would never do such a thing. Sam begged to differ.

So, really the switch happened among Danny, Luke, Flash, Cho, Ben, Vulture, Ka-zar, and Sam.

Vulture, villain turned sorta hero, was against the roommate switch. In the beginning he didn't really care who he roomed with. He had this entire I hate everyone vibe going on until he ended up rooming with Ben. Ben was probably the coolest kid he'd ever talked too. Albeit, he didn't talk to lots of kids other than the superhero ones and they all sucked as equals. Especially Peter. That scrawny fuck. ("Hey!")

For the past two months, Ben and Vulture had built up a mutual respect for each other. Friendship was blossoming between the two like cherry blossoms in the spring or some other poetic shit like that. Vulture, dare he say, loved Ben with every fiber of his being. There wasn't any way in hell he was giving up his roommate.

"I refuse," Vulture spat, perching himself on Ben's shoulder. "I refuse."

Flash rolled his eyes. "You've literally been Ben's roommate for two months. We gave you an extra month out of pity." He realized every time there was a room switch someone was always prolonging the inevitable. Last month, Cho reluctantly gave up Ka-zar as his roommate.

"Suck my dick." There was a beat of silence, before the ex-villain added, "No homo."

Ben shrugged, speaking up, "I really don't care if he rooms with me again. Also get off of me." A small itsy bitsy part of Ben buried deep beneath the shell of his heart, past the iron clad wall that enclosed said shell was hoping they would let him continue rooming with Vulture. He liked the bird for brains way more than he liked anyone else on the hellhole flying battleship.

Flash chose to ignore him, fanning at Vulture in a half assed attempt to get him off Ben. It didn't work and resulted in Vulture pecking at the blonde's head. The others watched the scene with varying looks of amusement.

A couple more pecks later, Vulture finally agreed to give up his roommate. Ben tried to hide his look of disappointment that only Danny picked up. The blonde frowned slightly.

Roommates were decided by drawing sticks. It used to be rock-paper-scissors, but due to a certain Savage Land native cheating at the game they went with sticks. (Till this day no one knew how or why he was cheating.) Whoever had matching sticks would be roommates for the next month. Vulture was praying that by some twist of fate, he'd get to room with Ben again.

Fate was not on his side. Not that it was a surprise. Afterall, Fate had a bone to pick with the black haired boy. Vulture eyed his stick in defeat, glancing at Danny, his new roommate.

Danny, noticing the mood of his new roomie, offered a reassuring smile and said, "As the sun's shadow shifts, so there is no permanence on earth."

Vulture gave Danny a blank look. "What does that even mean?"

"It means quit being a little bitch," Luke said. "Come on Ben, let's move your things to my room."

Ben trailed after him, waving goodbye to Vulture as he asked Luke, "You gonna carry all of it?"

"Sure. Why not?"

Cho was having a crisis of his own. He stared at his stick, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. This was ridiculous. There was no way he'd ended up with Sam of all people.

"God," a stray tear fell down his check, "Why have you forsaken me?"

Sam cackled, leaning over to the younger, and whispering, "I'm God now."

Ka-zar was a bit more calm over the roommate switching. He preferred to room with Zabu, but Peter didn't like that idea. Peter tried to talk him out of it by lecturing him on the benefits of human interaction. The lecture fell on deaf ears so Ben stepped in and offered Klondike bars as an incentive to participate in the roommate switch and suffer with the rest of them. Ka-zar was hesitant until he tried the Klondike bar. Since then he rarely complained when it came to switching. The chocolate coated ice cream bar was worth the possibly shitty roommate he was getting. He held his stick up for Flash to see. "Roomies?"

Flash bumped their sticks together. "Roomies."

* * *

Cho was ready to rip his hair out of his scalp. He knew rooming with Sam would be bad, but he hadn't expected it to be this bad. Sam did not stop talking nor did he have any respect for any of Cho's things.

The younger of the two watched in defeat as the Latino did what he did best. Which was ruining everyone else's things and making Cho want to strangle him. Being the youngest of the heroes, Cho had come to realize they did not give a shit whether or not he was the 7th smartest person in the world. It was as if Cho's genius prowess meant nothing to them. He remembered Luke setting him on some high ledge once because of a mission gonna array. Cho was beyond pissed that the original plans had been derailed because Miles didn't use the bathroom before they left for the mission.

Wasn't it common sense to take a shit before fighting bad guys?

"Let's switch roommates, they said. What's the worst that could happen, they said," He grumbled.

Sam was having the time of his life messing around with the hi tech computers. He didn't understand what half of the techy words displaying on the screen meant, but he was having the time of his life. He let the mouse hover on one of the icons on the screen. "You play LOL?"

Cho nodded, staring blankly at the older. "I haven't been able to play lately with all the heroing."

"You wanna play together?"

Cho blinked. "Okay."

On the other side of the helicarrier, Vulture was dumping the rest of his clothes in an empty shelf. He didn't have a lot of clothes so he didn't much space.

"Is there a reason you and Ben are so close?" Danny asked once he and Vulture were settled in his room. Vulture eyed the room and was surprised at how much it reminded him of Danny. It was as big as a SHIELD bedroom could be, but Danny had added a few personal touches to make it seem more homey. Bean bags, a small corner dedicated to yoga, mini fridge, and a TV. There was incense burning on a small table, surrounded by various small pots with a sign that read : Don't touch, Sam.

If Vulture wasn't so bitter over not having Ben as his roommate, he'd say the room was comforting. If Vulture wasn't so bitter and trying to project said bitterness onto Danny, he'd say he felt so calm in the room. All stress left his body in waves and he felt like he was walking on a- What the fuck was in that incense?

"We bond over trauma," Vulture stated earning a slow nod from Danny.

"If you would like," Danny offered after a beat of silence, "I could see if Luke would switch with you so you can room with Ben. We've been roommates before in the past. I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

"You're serious?"

"I am."

Vulture was about to jump for joy until he spotted Luke in the doorway, glaring down the teen. He gritted his teeth, flashing Danny what was supposed to be a smile but it looked nothing of the sort. "Oh no, Daniel. That is quite alright. You need naught concern yourself over the affairs of mortals."

Danny was taken back by the reply. Mainly because he never heard Vulture talk like that. Did he even know what naught meant? "Are you sure?"

"Quite sure."

Danny nodded, going back to whatever it was teenage monks did in their spare time. When Vulture looked back at the door, Luke was nowhere in sight. That motherfucker.

Vulture plopped himself on his bed, blankly staring up at the ceiling. Danny said something about meditating with some music. Vulture waved him off, signaling for the blonde to do whatever. The song started playing over the speakers.

Vulture turned to face Danny (well his back), slight impressed, he asked, "You listen to rock?"

Danny nodded. "Rock soothes the savage spirit."

Vulture wasn't sure what that meant, but then again it was Danny. When did he ever make sense? "Scoot over." He settled next to Danny, meditating along to the bass guitars and gritty vocals. Maybe this wouldn't be too bad.


End file.
